COVID-19 - A lesson of humility in my lifetime, for my lifetime

We know now from the epicenter of where all of this began, China, that the number of new confirmed cases of the coronavirus can slow down considerably, and that in turn suggests the risk from the virus isn’t indefinite. But, here in the US, we know we have a longer, tougher road ahead. We know our medical staff will be on the front lines longer, more tired, and that we will need all the help we can get. We know that the number of our volunteers are going to be less, with more focus on rebooting the economy, people fearful that if the virus doesn't kill them, may be unemployment or recession will. But there is a lesson we can all learn from this - we in the US have had a great advantage that we weren't the first to get hit by this very ferocious threat to mankind. It was China that took that hit, and did what they could in dire circumstances and in some sense, led the world in their efforts to conquer this virus. In a weird way, they brought the world together against a common enemy...Yet, we find more people passing racist and truly not funny jokes against the same folks we should be embracing (not really, because of social distancing), asking for advice,  looking for hope and at least right now (3 months later), empathizing and apologizing for not helping them through their sufferings.But no, we are humans. We cannot look beyond our personal differences. We are a petty kind, who even in the most humble times fail to learn, fail to understand, fail to be human.
It's a real shame.

This Valentine's day, and the place to find happiness

During a class at Fresno Pacific University, a speaker asked one of the spouses in the audience:

"Does your husband make you happy?"

At this moment, the husband stood up straighter, showing complete confidence. He knew his wife would say yes, because she had never complained about anything during their marriage.

However, his wife answered the question with a resounding "No." "No, my husband does not make me happy."

The husband was baffled, but his wife continued:

"My husband never made me happy, and he does not make me happy. I am happy."

"Whether I am happy or not is dependent not on him, but on me. I am the only person on whom my happiness depends.

I choose to be happy in every situation and every moment of my life, for if my happiness depended on another person, thing or circumstance, I would be in serious trouble.

Everything that exists in this life constantly changes: the human being, the riches, my body, the climate, my boss, the pleasures, the friends, and my physical and mental health. I could quote an endless list.

I need to decide to be happy regardless of anything else that happens. Whether I own a lot or a little, I am happy! Whether I'm going out or staying home alone, ​​I'm happy! Whether I am rich or poor, I am happy!

I am married, but I was already happy when I was single.
I'm happy for myself.

I love my life not because my life is easier than anyone else's, but because I have decided to be happy as an individual. I am responsible for my happiness.

When I take this obligation from my husband and anyone else, I free them from the burden of carrying me on their shoulders. It makes everyone's life much lighter.

And that's how I've had a successful marriage for so many years."

Never give anyone else the responsibility to control your happiness. Be happy, even if it's hot, even if you're sick, even if you do not have money, even if someone has hurt you, even if someone does not love you and even if you do not value yourself.

Resilience

There's a lot that trying times can remind you. Most of all, they bring back your ability to be malleable. Hurricane Harvey for the first time displaced me from my home and my ability to access it. It became clear to me how important it was to be resilient in times you are separated from what want and what you can have.

Good Memory - A double edged sword

Since a kid I was complimented to have the best memory in class. It was just the right skill a high school student needed in an Asian school environment where good grades were heavily dependent on memory. I wasn't smart enough and I knew all along that I couldn't thrive in a difficult or tricky environment if I couldn't in that situation count on my memory. When I came to University and then eventually to the work world, I saw how my good memory was not paying me much dividends.

At age 29, I have understood the true negative of my good memory. I have carried the baggage of my nasty/bad relationships (especially those were people had intentionally wronged me) and I am constantly allowing it to add cumulatively to a pre-existing and pretty full compartment in my mind. A family member once responded with harshness at the way a news was delivered to him rather than a smile on his face and love in his heart at the sweetness of the content of the news. Today as this same individual is celebrating a big day, I feel restless, not because of his actions but because of my own good memory problem. Fact is that I probably meant peanuts to this individual, but I have allowed something in my own power to not be able to feel happy in a joyous moment,

Good memory can certainly allow less pragmatic people to stagnant their growth and achievements some times. If only memories were selective for me, and I can chose which ones to keep and which ones to move past.

Happiness

I once thought happiness was just finding love in the one that loved you the most and then life was set. But I wasn't sure if I managed to convince my dad with this, who's opinion matters the most to me in this world. After many years of question, I looked into my dad's eyes moments before my wedding - I saw his face glow as he looked at me top to bottom. His eyes told me he was more confident in my decision than ever - I felt he finally believed in how happy this man made me. It was an amazing moment, and I realized I had touched a new level of happiness. So fortunate I am that it got caught on camera. #manishandsung

Reciprocation of love

"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, it doesn't mean that they don't love you."

But sometimes, its difficult. After having bonds of love and affection for so long, you come across moments of hesitation from your friends and family on sharing their happiness, as if they were scared you would jinx it. Meanwhile, you have prayed for the best for them all along everytime you have witnessed their griefs and desperately waiting for the good days to return to them.

One can't help but feel paralyzed a bit in those moments. But at the end, hoping you can get past how and how much someone loves you, as it truly can't measured.

Vikas Khanna...I am addicted to the way you lead your life

Resilience and time...hurts you and heals you, it makes you full.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmeySZFS5YI

#masterchef #junoon

What I think about bad karma

I have recently encountered many situations in life where I am extremely angry, and desperate for justices against the people who have wronged me. I believe thinking about it, or finding a solution to it, will help me achieve something I dont have, or make my life better. However, I have come to realize that when I am that angry, its hard not become the person I envy or dislike. 

I have come to rely more on the spiritual order of justice. That if someone has intentionally or unintentionally harmed another person, it will pay back to them some way or another in due course - either in the form of kids, parents or self. There will come a day that they will realize the damage they have done to society. That there is no unfinished story, or a bad deed that wasn't otherwise punished. 

While I certainly seen people with bad karma seen so much misery in the future, I do appreciate that my theory can be completely flawed. But for no good cause, I have dedicated so much time and energy in a day entertaining my anger and hatred towards some people, that I have paralyzed myself from being happy through my circumstances. To the very least, I think leaving it as someone else's problem to fix, I am hoping to get some of that precious time back.  

Closure

I thought yesterday was a very important day to me. After many years of struggling, I could hear what I wanted.

Notwithstanding how stressful the last week was, and how negative the outcomes appeared, the silver lining through those dense black clouds was that I finally got some closure.  After 3 whole years, I finally got my closure.

I feel ready to start my new life.

Back to Hampton Inn

Its the most nostalgic day

I am in the same hotel as I first got to Canada

10 years later...this place hasn't changed one bit.

Who would have ever thought then, this would be me and my situation today

Light at end of a dark lonely tunnel

I'm coming home
I'm coming home
Tell the world I'm coming home

Let the rain wash away
All the pain of yesterday

I know my kingdom awaits
And they've forgiven my mistakes

I'm coming home
I'm coming home
Tell the world I'm coming home

Let the rain wash away 
All the pain of yesterday

That night...one small news...and a million dreams ahead...So proud of you

1/12/13 - 
As I lay in bed I remembered the first time we met at a bus stop. And our journey started. We became friends in my first year and I remember narrating [] stories to you and gossiping about [] while eating cherry tomatoes dipped in salt. Then came a time we became roommates. You taught me to share things. Being a single child sharing was never a part of my game. You taught me to fight all the odds through university and walked me just like someone helps a blind person cross the road. Thank  you so much for always being there for me in university and post university too with my job, relationship and things in general. Thank you for being my support system here and standing by me whenever I needed you. We made a small little house of ours here. Think of it more like a strong tree where the roots and the branches would symbolize you.  Many circumstances and situations came and went by. We withstood it with a smile. I got most of my strength from you. You held my little finger and taught me to walk out of university just like an older family member does with the younger one. I was once told I shouldn't call people sisters. I think I might insult a relationship with being a sister to someone. I don't even know what it is to have a sister as I have had no siblings. But I surely know what a family member means to me. And no till date havnt disheartened anyone there at least lol!! I am sure you know it but you are a family member to me. And then I thought to myself that its time for another family member to leave. It's time to bid another good bye. But before shedding a tear thought to myself of all the times you have taught me to stand strong. Now is the time this will be tested. I will miss you.  Anyways now not going to get too emotional !! Happy days are here for you. It's time to warmly welcome them with a broad smile...

The Relativility of Happiness

Feeling low in life because of constant instability and downhills?

Think about the last phase of your life that you believed was the happiest time of your life.

..........................

Now think about how happy you actually felt at that particular time. Were you waiting for some other circumstances to change to be truly happy then?
..........................

If yes above, can you possibly imagine that a few decades from now, you would may be conclude that this time in your life appears happier than what has come?

If only we stopped questioning the cards we are dealt with, and for once like little kids only focus on playing the hand...If only... 

What an honor...how blessed I am to have made it here...

Sweta has quickly become a subject matter resource in lease accounting – particularly in the area of sale-leaseback and built-to-suit lease transactions under US GAAP. This was apparent to me when I returned from my maternity leave. Because I was away for three months, Sweta actually reminded me of some of the accounting considerations and identified issues in the transaction that I overlooked.

..............Her lease accounting skills will be very valuable to us in the field when the new standard is issued.

What's so happy about this new year?Or the change of year...Not Sure

Nomad

Till date, I always looked at my moves as a disadvantage.
My INstability as my weakness

I was foolish - to have considered my greatest asset as a shame.

My ability to adapt, my power to succeed in every environment...to make long lasting relationships and to keep my rapidly growing vast network connected to me at all times....My life is what others crave for...people constantly envy my courage...these things far outweigh my longing for belonging.

This is my asset - and I will keep using it till I find my home...And who knows...I might find it one day in my truly nomadic life.

Stablility

I am beginning to understand the futility of everything around me.
Beginning to understand that what I want in life, people around me never will.
Craving a home, a settled spot.
Desperate for stability.
None of these...would they ever understand. 

Sweta, don't make something an issue, until it really is one.

My Birthday

Its 3 days before my birthday...with some downtime at work and also life - today I went through my Facebook photos from the past 7 years.

There is so much joy - The people in my pictures, my smiles, the graduations, the parties, the achievements, the late nights at the library (trying to study pysch but actually focusing on learning french), the beautiful sarees, the wonderful friends as close as family, the weddings, the babies, the interviews, the jobs, the designations, the garba nights, the family trips, sister love, the "love/loves" of my life, my nieces, my nephews, the uncles, the aunts and soooooo many cities (Mumbai, Doha, Toronto, Male, Philadelphia, New York, Montreal, Chicago, Rochester, Tobomory, Geneva, Brussels, Orlando, Goa, Las Vegas, Dubai, Poconos, Cape May, Ocean City, Washington D.C,)

What an amazing life this has been. I couldn't be happier today, couldn't be more content with how far the last few years have taken me.

And here I was yesterday...crying for a stupid vacation, crying for a stupid break, crying for the next big steps...feeling insecure about my life

My birthday this year will be blast. It wont be perfect because you all (Cia, Amit, Aman, Nikhita, Raghav, Eric, Abinav, Valeska, Pooja, Sonal, Danish, Rishav, Aysha, Jiju, Alpa didi, Mohit, Rohit, Aly, Pavi Aunty, Valerie Aunty, Darsh, and above all Mom and Dad) will be missed -  However, I'll cherish the memories and move on to make new ones.

Highlight videos on my facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151595845678122&set=t.28131226&type=3&theater

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=155974720493&set=t.28131226&type=3&theater

Need a fix

Sometimes you just have to trust that the wishes you don't ask for will still be granted someday...Looking back at the past week, I am a little embarassed at how much I ask for 

#stopcomplaining